


Childhood Trauma

by boybones



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:52:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2701916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boybones/pseuds/boybones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Always meddling and annoying is what Yamazaki Sousuke really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not as angsty as the title might suggest. But it's just the working title and i'll come up with something else. Btw this is an unbeta'd mess. Also English is not my first language, but I hope everything is okay the way it is. Except for punctuation, I know that isn't fine at all, I just put commas everywhere like I'm used to, haha. Corrections are welcome! Thank you for reading!!!

You and Yamazaki barely knew each other.  
You have known each other for a very long time. But then again barely.  
The tiny bit of a connection you did share, was shaped by his mysteriously hostile attitude towards you, and your lack of interest in changing anything about that. The few times you ever talked were either in connection to Rin or swimming. Or both.  
And it was always him mostly yelling at you with genuine disdain clearly coloring his voice and features.  
Either as a little boy with small fists clenched tightly, tears of anger slowly forming in his eyes, or as a big boy with his tall form invading your space threateningly, hovering over you, no tears or clenched fists that time but a look, a glance that oozed with contempt and a little condescension. You never really cared much either way.  
So honestly, what happened to his shoulder back in high school wasn't really any of your concern either. You were just worried about Rin being upset over it.  
You two had nothing to do with each other. He was the friend of a friend.

Which is why you are desperately trying to figure out what exactly you are supposed to do with all this information Makoto is gleefully throwing at you.

"Guess what Haru, Yamazaki-kun and I attend the same class at my University! I even went to talk to him after class."  
"Hm."  
"We didn't talk much though, and he seemed really uncomfortable. Maybe he was embarrassed?"  
"Hm."  
"I asked about his... you know."  
He lowered his voice at the last part, as if it was something shameful or secret. Better not discussed out in the open, or in a crowded Mc Donald's in Tokyo in the late afternoon.  
"His shoulder?" You asked in a conversational volume, causing Makoto to wave his hand as if to stop you and answer in a voice that was more a whisper than anything:  
"Yeah."

You shrug and continue to eat your noodles. Your interest in this is rather low.

"He said, it was as he expected. He can't swim anymore. That's so sad isn't it?"  
"Hm."  
"Oh and I have his phone number!", he said waving his mobile around, with the green phone case and cracked screen.  
"Are you ever going to get that screen fixed?  
"Ah, yeah I forgot about it this week too. You know, I just thought of buying a new one altogether, because I've dropped this one so many times before."

And that was the end of that conversation. You really didn't know why you were so eager to change the subject, but really when most things Makoto rambles on about either just bore you or provide a nice ambient sound while you sink back into your own head, with Makoto's gentle voice never to loud or too fast, not stopping stop your thoughts from flowing in your head like water, this just annoyed you. 

It's to be expected, that talking about a nuisance, gets annoying fast too.

And you thought that would be the extend of the role Yamazaki played in your life. Another quick conversation of the many you and Makoto have in your daily life. A memory that causes you to shrug and sigh. Just someone whose name you knew and partially his story, but who really is more of a stranger than anything. You hope you didn't have to meet him at some point. Because you've changed now, you are a grown person with a future laid out in front of you and you are not sure if you would keep your mouth shut if he had anything to say to you now. You would actually like to know why he has such a problem with you. You didn't even really know him.

Your hope is shattered though when Makoto was late for meeting you at the train station a few weeks later and you see the reason for that roughly 10 metres away from you, at a vending machine, where Makoto is happily chatting with a tired looking Yamazaki who has a small smile on his face nonetheless, nodding along with whatever Makoto has to say. They're about the same height, with Yamazaki only a few centimetres taller. You hardly ever see people that are taller than Makoto.

You really hope Makoto doesn't see you or else he might try to wave you over, and you are absolutely not in the mood for that.  
You are just going to take the train once it arrives. Makoto can stay behind, for taking so damn long. But you should try stay more hidden. You are about to turn around and leave as Makoto's clear voice cuts through the sound of the crowd around you. 

"Haru!!!"

You can see him exchanging a few more words with Yamazaki, before he makes his way through the mass. You are relieved that he neither waved you over nor did he he bring Yamazaki along when meeting you, 10 minutes late.

"Sorry, we missed the first train didn't we?" Makoto turned around to squint at the train schedule hanging from the ceiling in the distance. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and probably forgot to put in his contacts this morning as well.

"What are talking to him about anyway? Like, have you two always been such good friends?" You honestly didn't intend to sound so angry. But jealousy has also been a new sentiment, of your new emotionally healthy self. At least the most emotionally healthy you've ever been. And one of those you have become very acquainted with after leaving Iwatobi with Makoto together. 

"No..." Makoto looks at you as if trying to figure you out. And he is almost always successful with that, so you turn your face away, as if trying to look at the schedule yourself.  
"Yeah, we missed it.", you sigh and bury your hands in your pockets. Makoto is still looking at you, expecting to find something but you turn to him with a smile and say: "Since we missed the it because of you, it's your treat later."  
He pouts playfully at that but then responds with a smile of his own and says: "Sure."

And you thought that with that the whole Yamazaki-Business would be over. And now you're angry.

"I'm sorry Haru, but I'm having dinner with Sousuke today."  
With Sousuke. First name basis now too.  
You grunt into the phone, short and almost inaudible, but Makoto picks up on all of your expressions and starts to babble on through the line.  
"I'm sorry Haru, but I've promised Sousuke and besides we eat together almost every day! And we'll have dinner tomorrow again too, but you know I've never-"  
You stop listening and speak before you could even think properly.  
"Where are you going to eat?"  
"Huh? That little restaurant, by the station where we sometimes go to... you know, next to-"  
You know which one he's talking about.  
"When?"  
"Uh... in half an hour?"  
"Count me in."  
And with that you hang off and after your anger has dissipated, you start to despair.

You are an idiot.

You were sure that if you and Yamazaki should ever meet it would be Makoto's fault. It kind of is now too. But really you are the only one to blame, you and any kind of stupid possessiveness you feel over your childhood friend.  
You really need to grow up. And then you need to call Makoto and tell him you didn't really mean what you said before, and that you hope he enjoys dinner with Yamazaki. But instead you skip growing up and calling Makoto, and find yourself near the place he mentioned roughly 40 minutes later. Entering, you see Makoto and Yamazaki sitting in the back. Neither of them has any food yet, Makoto probably insisted on waiting for you, much to the annoyance of Yamazaki. That will probably cancel any future dinner dates. Satisfied, you walk towards them, half-heartedly waving your Hand, when Makoto beams at you from his seat. Yamazaki looks up at you too and you find neither annoyance nor any other kind of hostile reaction. In fact he looks kind of friendly.

Now you feel stupid for wanting to confront him. Or for thinking he is a nuisance. Except you don't, because you're pissed and you sit at the side of the table between Makoto and Yamazaki, refusing to look at the latter and instead focusing on Makoto and scolding him for not telling you about your change in plans sooner.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd come along." Makoto smiles and you respond by muttering "Of course I would." And glancing over at Yamazaki.  
He still seems neither irritated nor angry at your presence, but you don't believe the peace. 

The dinner went as awkwardly as expected. They didn't have any mackerel on their menu, which you recall is the reason you and Makoto didn't come here often. Makoto and Yamazaki were conversating and you were observing and glaring daggers at Yamazaki from across the table. He was mostly unaware, and you were mostly immature, but you really didn't care. You were waiting for him to turn on you with that familiar look of disdain in his eyes, but every time Makoto steered the conversation to you, He looked at you with an almost passive look. Polite and never hostile. It was pissing you off even more.

And then the most dreadful moment came.You knew it was coming but never could you have prepared you for it. There is absolutely no way you could have done anything to prepare for it. Makoto was excusing himself to go to the restroom.  
And now here you sit with Yamazaki eating his rice and you're fuming with irritation. The silence quickly became apparent and awkward with Makoto's relentless chatter gone and just you two at the table.

"I never really thought you'd be able to do it."  
Yamazaki's voice, conversational and playful even, cuts through your irritation and stuns you momentarily. It makes you look up at him, and you see him looking right back at you slowly chewing. You try to process what he said.  
"Huh?", you say intelligently.

"Getting into Japan's national team. I always knew you had the talent and the ability, but I thought you just lacked the right attitude."

Oh right. Yeah, that was something he was always on about with you. Your "attitude". Because you swam for yourself and your friends and not to win. Because you only swam free. You never understood why he cared so much. And even worse you have nothing witty to respond with.  
"Oh.", You say, smartly. You really don't know why you want to come up with something that will provoke him so badly.

"Anyway, how's Rin?", He says then, interrupting your thoughts.

Right. Rin. Literally the only thing you two had in common. Though it would probably be Makoto now too, but Rin is arguably the only thing they have in common, except for attending the same university.

"Why are you asking me, you're his best friend." Yes, you've finally come up with something to say, that doesn't just consist of one syllable and that has the right confrontational ring to it. You mentally pat yourself on the back.

He is quiet at that, and looks down at his plate seemingly shrinking a few inches. As if you just slapped him.  
"We haven't been talking much, since he left Japan again.”  
He said it, trying to hide what obvious impact that had on him. It made you unpat your back and just sit there, ashamed. You really didn't want to start a fight anymore.

“But I went to see one of his races. You were there too.”, he says his voice doesn’t sound quite as small anymore, but excited probably at the prospect of watching Rin race.  
“Why haven’t you two been talking?”  
This was a question you never intended to ask. Not before asking, not while asking and not even after you’ve said it. Why do you care? Rin is doing alright, he probably would have called you sobbing and sniffing, if it really bothered him that much. But then again Rin probably just didn’t want to involve you in anything regarding Yamazaki. He probably knows why Yamazaki dislikes you so much. Or did dislike you? You honestly weren’t sure, but he hasn’t said anything about that yet. Or pushed you against a vending machine for that matter.

Sousuke averted his gaze. He really seemed kinda small now even though his shoulder were broad and strong. You should stop thinking about his shoulders.

“I changed my phone number so he couldn’t contact me. I didn’t tell him that I went back to Tokyo either. After finding out, that swimming really is impossible for me now, I didn't want to face him. So I avoided him. Until I’ve figured myself out entirely new again.”

Your first impulse is to tell him that’s stupid. But you successfully don’t act on that and ask:

“So, have you done that?”

“What?”

“Figured yourself out.”

“Heh. I’m close”

What kind of response was that. Whatever it doesn’t really matter to you, so you turn your head at the sound of the restroom door opening, and watch Makoto take his seat again.

The rest of the afternoon, was neither as awkward nor as comfortable as the beginning was. You honestly felt bad for wanting to fight Yamazaki, which you shouldn't because he was the one starting it over 10 years ago. That’s probably the most childish thing you have thought all day and you still don’t know what the guy’s problem was. Literally every time you've talked was when you were fighting, or when he was trying to fight you, which didn’t peak your interest back then. And now he is talking to you as if none of that ever happened. Bullshit.  
Always meddling and annoying is what Yamazaki Sousuke really is. Even back in high school. Trying to protect Rin from you. From you? Laughable.  
It must have gotten on Rin’s nerves too, you bet. Actually, you think Rin never found out about Yamazaki threatening you behind his back. Twice. He should have. Hell, he deserves to find out about it right now. You are itching to take out your phone, but you think better of it. What goes on between Rin and Yamazaki is none of your business. Just like whatever goes on between you and Yamazaki is none of his. And actually, it can’t be because there is absolutely nothing going on there at all. The friend of a friend. 

“I’m sorry but it’s getting really late.” Yamazaki said looking at the large digital clock mounted on the wall. Makoto offered to bring him to the train station, since that was the direction you were heading, but Yamazaki declined, claiming he still has something to do before heading home.

“We really did stay for a long time…” Makoto and you are on the way back to your apartment too. After Makoto whining about how dark it is outside, despite streetlights and traffic illuminating Tokyo’s streets, you agreed to let him sleep over at your place. It’s not like you mind having Makoto over, it’s just that he is a grown 6 foot man, that is scared to go home alone at night. You were going to teach him better, after moving to Tokyo.

“I really didn’t think you were going to tag along with us though! That was a pleasant surprise.”  
“You should be grateful,or else you’d be walking home all by yourself now.”  
“No, I was going to stay at Sousuke’s place tonight.”  
“What?” What. That makes you stop dead in your tracks, causing Makoto to look back at you, confused.  
“What is it, Haru-chan?”  
“You were going to stay over at his place?”  
“Hm? Yeah? We have the same class tomorrow morning, so we decided we could stay over at his place and maybe study a little too. But I canceled after hearing about you coming along. You already were so angry that I canceled our lunch together…”  
“I wasn’t.”  
“But Sousuke’s apartment is really big and clean! It’s amazing! It’s like a loft or something. He said that his parents are willing to pay for everything because he is going to medical school! He wants to-”  
You stopped listening again. Makoto was at Yamazaki’s place before. Makoto intended to spend the night there. Why are they such good friends now all of a sudden? It has perhaps been a few weeks or so that Makoto told you about their first encounter. Did they really spend that much time together? To be fair, you have been extremely busy lately, sometimes only seeing Makoto for dinner. And sometimes not even that. But being a professional swimmer is probably the most time consuming career you could have picked and if you’re not in the pool, you’re in the gym or with Makoto. But mostly in the pool or in the gym. It doesn’t bother you that much, but Makoto complained and said he barely even gets to see you anymore. But he also said that he is extremely proud of you.

Also you were always prepared for having to share Makoto. It was always fine with Rei, Nagisa, Rin or Gou. Those were your friends too, so it honestly didn’t matter to you. But having Makoto connect with people you didn’t know? Building a social circle you weren’t even a part of? That was something you probably had to get used to. And sure, you met many new people here too, but you never intended to make many friends here. Your team mates are alright and your coach is loud and stern but also very nice. And that’s about it for you. But Makoto isn’t you, He is social and friendly and always attracts people. And like it was obvious that you were going to be very busy here, it was also obvious that Makoto would spend your time apart trying to look for new friends.  
But… Yamazaki? You were pretty sure, that if you barely knew Yamazaki, Makoto would know him even less. But Makoto did know about his shoulder injury, which is what probably made his maternal instincts kick in, and the need to nurse Yamazaki back to health along with it. No matter if that was even possible or not.

“Haruuuuu?!”  
Makoto’s voice brings you back. And the worried look on his face makes you feel bad. You are being an idiot right now, for real. So what if Makoto is friends with Yamazaki now? It’s not like there is any way to tell him that you don’t want him to, as a respecting BFF. Because if there was you would probably have told him by now.

“It’s nothing.”, you respond and continue walking towards your apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Haru refers to Makoto as his BFF. That is scientifically proven and irrefutable, so anything you have to say that might suggest otherwise is hereby officially dismissed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is rly awful n short lmao but i felt bad for not continuing and i had this sitting around my computer for a long time now so i might as well post it. warning for badness and recreational drug use? there are so many mistakes in this omfg like how.... anyway enjoy!!!  
> also warning for my really bad headcanons bye

Your new life as an adult has also been a sequenz of interesting firsts. There was your first time getting into a fight with your neighbors, because they had the music playing too loudly in the middle of the night. There was your first time getting drunk with Makoto, who had to drag you home because otherwise you might have committed your first offence in your first bar fight. There was the first time you’ve ever really been homesick, after Makoto left for the holidays and you couldn’t because you had an important race coming up, so you stayed in Tokyo, swimming your ass off because the coach would not, under any circumstances let you go home for even a day. You were really close to flipping him off and going anyway, but that would not be the mature thing to do, so you just flipped him off mentally. There are a lot of thing you only do mentally,you notice.

Which brings you to the first time you’ve ever masturbated. Not at your current age of 19 of course. In fact you don’t remember when you masturbated for the first time, but at your current age of 19 was your first time ever imagining a real person while doing so. And you didn’t even mean to.

Usually you have no real person in mind when masturbating. Just the sight of water and wet, tanned limbs embracing you. You can’t even really tell the gender of the person. And you don’t think it matters, because sexuality was never something you were concerned with. You’ve never been in love and you never even had a single crush, unlike Makoto who would always develop new crushes every month in middle school, on different boys and he would never confess or talk to any of them because he was too shy. There was one time he guilt tripped you into talking to a guy for him but that went as badly as expected and so he never did it again.

 

Makoto knew he was gay, ever since he was in 6th grade. Whereas you have never even known if you were straight or not. When you were 12, Makoto googled what your problem might be and apparently you were asexual, but after you told your parents because Makoto felt like you had to come out to them, they looked at you as if you were insane and asked what the hell that was.  
So you figured Makoto is terrible at googling and that asexuality doesn’t even exist. You know that asexuality does exist now and you know for sure that your are really not asexual, because there is someone you would really like to have sex with. “Like” as in your animalistic and sub-human urges are directed towards someone in particular but your common sense and your personal conviction will prevent you from doing anything about that. 

You have no clue why Yamazaki’s stupid face popped into your usually faceless fantasies, but you will make sure it never happens again. And even if that means that you have to stay abstinent for the rest of your life. You won’t risk having sex with someone, because the chance that even then Yamazaki’s mug will harass you while are in the act, still persists.

It’s not like you just started to fantasize about him out of nowhere though. In fact for the last two months, after that awkward dinner with Yamazaki and Makoto where you probably accidentally hurt his feelings, you’ve had a looming feeling of doom and it has now ended in a catastrophe and your young healthy self bidding farewell to the pleasures of the flesh or even just of your bony fingers. 

Because in those last two months Yamazaki and Makoto grew awfully close. You even asked Makoto if there was anything going on between them, but he just flushed beet red and violently denied having even as much as thought of dating Sousuke. You are still not sure if he was lying or not, but you definitely started to watch Yamazaki more closely. Because during middle school, you became aware that Makoto has a type. All the guys he ever liked were similar-looking and they even had a specific way of acting. You would describe them as the weird lonely outsiders, that sit alone at lunch and always look a little sad but if anyone ever asked them about it they’d just respond with ‘This is just what my face looks like, okay?’.  
The ones with that always have broken spectacle frames and never talk. The ones that listen to the kind of music that has no melody or rhythm. Just a woman screaming for 3 minutes as quiet whispers continue to grow louder until they drown out the screaming. Makoto tried to get into it once, wanting to impress a guy one grade above yours. Didn’t work.

 

But looking at Sousuke, that description doesn’t really fit. He is… more scary than anything. No one would ever ask him about his face because they’d be scared to get hit. He is tall and really well built, with broad shoulders and messy dark brown hair and eyes that are neither blue nor green... It all started when Makoto continued to invite Yamazaki to everything you two were doing. Even the ritual movie nights or dinner at your place. And it seemed as if you were spending just as much time with Yamazaki as you were with Makoto and you were waiting all the time for him to take off his nice guy mask and put his high school bully mask back on and to push you into a vending machine. Yes, you were bitter about what happened, because Yamajerk never even apologized. 

And now Makoto is begging you to come to some club with him to meet Yamazaki. You obviously said no. But it was dark and he was too embarrassed to call Yamazaki and tell him to pick him up, which you could understand quite well.

Somehow Makoto talked (manipulated) you into coming along. 

Because now you’re standing at the end of a line in front of the club entrance consisting of roughly 40 people. The doors were closed and painted black and a man with a dark jacket that had the word “security” printed on the back in bright yellow letters is standing in front of it and vehemently ignores the pleas of three girls standing in the very front of the line. And you were actually glad you didn’t have to go in. Because the music coming from the club was already audible this far away from the entrance and you had an idea of how loud it would be inside. 

“Look, Makoto let’s just call Yamazaki and tell him that the line is too long and go home.”  
“No, let’s wait a little.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes and shove your hands deeper into your pockets. It is cold and you are annoyed and you just hope Yamazaki will show up soon and see this disaster so that you can all go home. And to your surprise Yamazaki actually does show up 20 minutes later, slightly out of breath. 

“Sorry, Makoto I’m kinda late….”, he says as he slowly tried to catch his breath. But Makoto beamed at him as if he and you have not been standing in the cold for the last half an hour.  
Even if Makoto isn’t fucking Yamazaki, you are pretty sure that he would like to. Because that is the only reason he could be able to smile at him like that even if Yamazaki left you freezing to death in front of a club that you probably won’t get into anyway. You sure as hell aren’t smiling.

“Yeah, it’s okay we probably won’t get in anyways.”, Makoto says, letting out a small sigh. 

“Oh no it’s okay!”, Yamazaki responds, walking past the line towards the entrance.  
You have no idea what he is trying to do but you’re sure that whatever it is won’t get you in anyway, so you follow after him with Makoto, hoping that you will be home within the next hour. 

Yamazaki exchanges a few words with the bouncer and then pulls out a golden card, that has the name of the club written on it in dark blue letters. The bouncer takes a short look at it and then let’s Yamazaki pay for the three of you and opens the door, causing resounding complaints to erupt from the girls as you, Makoto and Yamazaki enter the club.

Oh, you are so pissed.

“How the fuck did you get us in?” You demand answers. You were so sure you and Makoto would be leaving soon after Yamazaki arrived but now you’re not on your way to the train station but in a small entry room where Yamazaki hands his jacket to a man behind a counter and has a number stamped onto the back of his hand. 

“What, you’re not happy I got us in?” , he answers, amused. You could see his smirk even if the room was dark and it made you want to leave immediately.

“I just bought this membership card or whatever off their website. It gets you discounts and free drinks on your birthday. And you don’t have to wait in line.”

Whatever. You watch Makoto who is also handing his jacket to the man behind the counter and looks at you as if expecting you to do the same. You do, reluctantly, because you did not want to cause a scene in the entrance of stupid club. 

You also have a number stamped on the back on your hand with blue ink. You guess this is for retrieving your jacket. You leave through a small hallway, to a room which is much louder than the previous one. The music is deafening, and your heart seems to pump matching the rhythm of the song, way too quickly. You are also greeted by flashing lights and the smell of 50 different perfume brands and sweat. The thick air and the chatter of the crowd surround you. 

“Let’s get something to drink!” Yamazaki is screaming at the both of you but you still aren’t sure if you understood him correctly. His voice is lost in the maze of noise surrounding you, but Makoto has your arm in his grip and pulls you towards something that looks like a bar. There were no free seats but a free bar table.

“I’ll pay for the drinks! You already payed for our entry.” Makoto says, smiling at Yamazaki. He leaves then, letting you and Yamazaki alone at the table. Again.

You are not going to say anything this time. You might hurt his feeling again or something and you are not-

“Hey, don’t tell Makoto but i’m really high right now.”

You stare at Yamazaki. His sclera was tinted red, which you notice when the flashing lights lights up his face for a few seconds. He isn’t really dressed in a manner appropriate for clubbing either. Just standard black skinny jeans, really flashy sneakers and a grey sweat jacket with a white T-shirt beneath. Even you put more effort into your outfit, and you being here was a last minute decision. 

“I totally forgot about tonight, haha.” He says, sighing and scratching his neck and then lets his head rest on the table, looking up at you.

“I’m gonna fall asleep any second.”

“Why didn’t you just cancel then?”, you ask.

“Because Makoto said you’d come with us.”

This was the first time you and Yamazaki talked after his face made you make a vow of celibacy. This is also the first time Yamazaki ever said anything like that to you and you are not sure what he means.

“Why is tha-”

“I’m back!” , Makoto interrupts you and Yamazaki quickly stands upright again. He is balancing three glasses in his hands, trying his hardest not to spill anything. 

“I just got us beer, like the one we drank last time. And a coke for Haru!”, he says sliding the glass over the tabletop to you. 

“You don’t drink?”, Yamazaki asked, raising one eyebrow slightly.

“He is not allowed to.”, Makoto answers, ignoring the glares you send him.

“Why?”

“Because my coach said it’s bad for my speed.”, you quickly answer before Makoto could tell Yamazaki about any embarrassing bar incidents.

“Ah, I see.”, Yamazaki turns to you again, smiling. You don’t smile back because you don’t like him and because you were deciding which one to kill, Yamazaki or Makoto.

Before, it was always clear that, in order to get rid of the Yamazaki-Problem, you’d have to get rid of the culprit himself. But now you are debating whether you want to risk being in similar situations in the future, by keeping Makoto alive and able to talk about embarrassing events and humiliating you in front of others. Maybe you should just kill both of them.

Yamazaki and Makoto are sipping on their beer and talking, while you stare at your own glass ignoring the two. This has become a familiar setup. Except that now your eyes occasionally wander over to Yamazaki and he didn’t even shave before coming here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry. also i love writting haru as the bitter young grown-up that i am


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao ppl actually read this? i'm sorry this is so bad i started out writing it for myself mostly because my headcanons are so weirdly specific haha. sousuke is a shoe nerd. haru is just a regular nerd. and makoto is the only cool one here, really.   
> i should prob warn you that i'm going to make make a whole bunch of shit up. you see, since sousuke is so awfully underwritten in the show i figured i should just add all of my crappy headcanons. just wait till u get to meet mr. n mrs. yamazaki. huehuehuehuehuehuehue  
> in a way i'm kinda thankful for all this lack of sousuke trivia. i should re name this fic "sousuke trivia" starting from the next chapter.  
> also i wanted to write the club scene, but then i got just hella lazy. also it's a contrived way to make things suspenseful for.... a few paragraphs... bye

You wake up surrounded by strange smells and the sound of …

Rap music? What the...

You find yourself in a bed that is not yours in a room you are not familiar with.  
You sit up, fast, in panic before you are hit by the feeling of someone smashing your head in with a hammer. You fall right back into the pillows, rubbing your temples, hoping to numb the pain somehow. Where the hell are you?

You try to to remember the night before.

You and Makoto met with Yamazaki at a dumb club.  
Then Yamazaki and Makoto went to off to dance, leaving you alone at the bar.  
You got yourself a proper drink, because why not? If you really have to wait here to make sure Makoto doesn’t get lost on his way to the restroom or something, you might as well get drunk. Makes things way easier.  
Apparently, it doesn’t though. Because you are in some stranger’s house, currently trying to get up. Not as easy because you are hungover as fuck. Your head is killing you, but you still manage to stand up and take a look around the room. The walls are empty, barren even. There is a huge wardrobe at the opposite side of the room and a small bookshelf next to it. 

You squint, trying to read the titles, but your vision is a little blurry, so you take a few steps towards it. Your feet hurt like hell, but you notice, with relief that you’re still wearing your pants. 

You can see the letters now but the words are still hard to read. A bunch of medical terms and weird science fiction. 

You notice, that the room is quite big but the huge bed and wardrobe make you feel a little claustrophobic. One of the walls has a shelf with a bunch of… sneakers? Who puts their shoes on a shelf? and lights every single pair individually? You admit, they are in great condition and look fairly interesting and expensive but still who would display their sneakers like that?

The smell of food becomes more noticeable, the longer you stand in one spot and you almost retch. You really feel like throwing up.

You have to get out of here. You look outside the window but you don’t really see the street you’re at because your are too high up. It makes you worry even more and quickly leave the room. You find yourself in another big room much bigger than the last. There is a couch and a big TV on one side and a kitchen area on the other. 

Also, there is Yamazaki standing in front of the stove humming along with that horrible, horrible, loud and horrible music. 

“Hey, look who’s up. It’s like 3pm, Haruka.”, Yamazaki laughs and the use of your full name makes you flinch.

“What am I doing here? Where is Makoto…”

You quickly search your pockets for your phone while Yamazaki replies:

“You don’t remember anything, huh?”

“No… Oh my god, did we-”

“No, haha. You sure sound more terrified at the prospect of that than last night though”

“What the hell? Just tell me what the fuck happened!”, you don’t mean to raise your voice but you can’t really help it. You are quite desperate right now.

“Whoa, no need to shout. Want some Aspirin?”, he asks, turning off the music and searching through the cupboards and not waiting for you to answer. You really think you might hate the nice and considerate Yamazaki even more than the previous one. You still take the glass he hands you. He doesn’t take his eyes off you while you drink, like he expects you to say something. You hand him the glass back but he still doesn’t move or stop observing you. 

“What?!”, you say, annoyed. It startles him, that you raise your voice again, but he still stands way too close to you. 

“Nothing at all?”, he asks, quietly.  
“No.”, you answer and he sighs but backs off, returning to the stove.

“You hungr-”  
“No, just tell me why I’m here.”

“No coffee either?”  
“NO!”

“Okay, okay… I’m still gonna pour you some. You might wanna sit down?”

He gestures towards a small table with three chairs around it and you sit down reluctantly.   
He sits down right next to you , placing two cups on the table. You could actually go for some coffee but you don’t move, waiting for Yamazaki to start speaking.

“You really hate me that much?”

This is not what you wanted him to say. You groan loudly, dropping your head to the cool surface of the kitchen table.

“Just saying! You send out some mixed signals, to be honest.”  
“Look, I just wanna know why I’m here, okay?”

He doesn’t say anything and the silence is like noise to you but worse. You’re debating on whether to slap Yamazaki and make him talk or to just leave and go home. He interrupts your thoughts though.

“Well, you got really drunk last night and Makoto went home with some dude. I really didn’t wanna drag you all the way to your place and my place was just around the corner, so I took you here.”

“That’s it?”  
“Yeah…”  
You feel relieved and humiliated. And to think that you stayed to watch out for Makoto…  
Which reminds you that you would really like to call him. Just to see if he is okay.  
You ask Yamazaki where your jacket is and he quickly gets up to get it for you.   
You search the pockets for your phone and quickly call Makoto.

“Hello?”  
“Hey? Makoto? It’s me. Haru.”  
“Haru-chan?? Are you still at Sousuke’s place?”  
“Yeah, I… Wait, you know?”  
“Of course! I was really worried when I couldn’t reach you because I thought it’d be fine to leave you with Sousuke. When I called him he told me you were still sleeping though.”  
“Why would you leave me with Yamazaki?”  
You forget that said Yamazaki is still sitting next to you looking a little offended. Whatever.  
“What do you mean? You didn’t want to come with me!”  
“What?”  
“You were all over him last night! You guys were making out on the dancefloor the last time I saw you. Wow, I’ve never seen you dance like that, Haru!”

You hang up.

You look at Sousuke, who’s looking back at you and nervously drumming his finger on the table.  
You look at his finger instead, the drumming is rhythmic and slowly driving you closer to insanity.  
You’re not sure why you’re still sitting at the table, why you’re not running away from this humiliating situation. You think about how you snapped at him earlier and feel a new wave of embarrassment wash over you. 

“Hey, I-”  
You don’t know why you have this urgency to interrupt him, to just make him stop, but you do so anyway.  
“This is the worst thing ever.”, you say, promptly shutting Yamazaki up. Your headache is slowly becoming duller but you’re just so nauseous with shame.

“I’m gonna leave.”   
You figured you should get out before Yamazaki brings up anything about yesterday. But shortly after getting up you realize that you have no clue where your shoes are. Or what door to leave through.   
“Here…” He takes your shoes out of a long shelf, filled with sneakers of all different colors and shapes. You quietly take your shoes and follow him towards the door.

He stands too close again as you put on your shoes but thank god, he is silent.   
You almost miss the small ‘see you later’ he murmurs as you storm out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was originally much more self-indulgent

“You’re being too reckless, Nanase.”

This is not the first time this week that your coach reprimands you like that. You can’t exactly tell him that you have something else on your mind right now, not only because you know your coach wouldn’t take that as an answer but also because you don’t really want to admit to yourself that that is what is making you swim so sloppily.

“Your form is usually always flawless but you can’t really get it right lately. You make too many movements. You waste too much time.”

He is right, you think but then you also think that he can go eat a dick. You’re probably just not used to having your swimming criticized. 

He tells you to wrap up early today and you are happy to do so. 

It’s been two weeks since you woke up at Yamazaki’s place. You haven’t talked or seen each other since then and you’re determined to keep it that way. 

You leave, finding your way on the crowded Tokyo streets. It’s late in the afternoon and the sky is clouded like usual but you can see the blue-pink gradient of the sky shimmer through the clouds. You feel like you should text Makoto since you’re going to be home early and the two of you could have dinner together. You haven’t talked to Makoto for 2 days and it’s rare for you two to not at least text each other once a day so you take out your phone and quickly type out your message.

It never takes Makoto long to respond and he promptly invites you for dinner at his place. You smile at the goofy little emoticon he added at the end of his message and quickly change directions towards Makoto’s apartment.

You take multiple shortcuts, walking through back alleys and abandoned sidewalks. Makoto never likes to walk through here because it’s scary but it’s the shortest path.   
You climb up the stairs of Makoto’s apartment building and until you reach the far right side of the building

You don’t bother searching for your keys and simply keep your finger pressed firmly on the buzzer. The door quickly opens and Makoto’s happy face greets you, making you smile yourself.

“Haru! Come in!”

You do, reveling in the warmth of his apartment.   
“I hope you have mackerel, Makoto. Because-”

You stop, staring at the person sitting on Makoto’s couch. 

“Hey, Haruka.”

“Hell, no.”

You turn around, heading for the exit but Makoto blocks the way, gently stopping you by putting his hands on your shoulders.

“Haru, please.”, he says, looking down at you, pleadingly. You are being ambushed by Yamazaki and Makoto. You’ll have trust issues for life after this.

“Why, Makoto?”, you groan, shaking his hands off your shoulder.

“Look, can we please just talk?” , Yamazaki says, standing up. He drives a hand through his hair, giving you an exasperated look.

“I don’t see what about”, you say crossing your arms. You shoot Makoto a glare and watch him wince silently. 

“I do. I have something I should probably tell you.”

“Not sure what that would be.”

“Let me buy you dinner. I know a place that serves great mackerel.”

You laugh bitterly, glancing over to Makoto.   
“He probably told you to say that.”

“Actually I know quite a lot about you. From Rin.”

“Weird, he never really talked about you.”

“Hah, thought so.”  
Yamazaki is obviously trying to hide his hurt.

You end up agreeing to dinner, probably because you feel bad for him. Or because you would have to fight Makoto in order to escape and you don’t think your chances are very good. 

 

The place Yamazaki takes you to is a nice one. decorated with aquariums and beach themed furnishing. It was completely your thing, which is why you start to ask yourself just how much Rin told him about you. 

You take seats in the far back of the restaurant. 

“Their fried mackerel is really good.”, he says, flipping through the menu.

“Okay, what do you want to want to tell me.” You’re impatient, thinking of earlier. You hate to admit it but you’re interested. 

“You don’t want to order anything?”, he smiles, glancing up from the menu.  
You roll your eyes, saying: “Fine, I’ll take the mackerel.”

Yamazaki laughs and you’re surprised by how much you like the sound. 

Finally, a waitress tends to you. You order your fried mackerel and some water. She takes Yamazaki’s order as well and leaves. You cross your arms looking at him, waiting for him to speak up. 

“I’m sorry for how I used to treat you. You should know that it was never really about you. Like I never had anything against you, personally.”

“It was about Rin.”, you murmur. You always thought that was obvious. Yamazaki nods slowly. 

“But I’m totally over that now. Rin is in Australia following his dreams and I’m here and I’m fine with it. We were never really good at keeping in touch.”

“You don’t miss him?”  
“I do. But we’re both busy doing our own thing, y’know”

You don’t really understand, but Yamazaki continues:  
“The point is, you’re pretty cool. And it would be nice if we could be friends.”

You’re surprised by his honesty and you start to feel bad yourself.

“I’m sorry too. I wasn't very nice to you either. Especially that morning.”  
You cringe, thinking about it. 

“It’s fine, really.” , he smiles. You hate to admit that he is pretty cute. You think back to your dream and flush. Yamazaki looks at you curiously, but doesn't ask any questions. The waitress   
serves you your food and you have to admit, the fried mackerel really is quite good.

Yamazaki insists on walking you home after dinner so you let him. 

“Just what did Rin tell you about me. It wasn't coincidence that you chose that restaurant, right?”  
“A lot. Like, he was talking so much about you it was annoying.”, he laughs.

As you walk through the rush hour streets, you notice just how tall Yamazaki is, compared to most people. 

“It’s just weird that you know so much about me and I know so little about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know… just tell me about yourself.”

“Uh, okay…”, he stops, thinking for a second.   
“Let’s see…my parent’s are originally from Osaka. But my mom was offered a job in Iwatobi as chief of police and my dad started a construction company.”

“Impressive. I knew you always talked kind of weird.”

“Well, thanks.”

“Nothing interesting?”

“I’m studying to be a sports physician?” , he offers. You remember the sneakers in his room.

“What about the shoes in your bed room?”

“Oh, you liked them?”, he says, a small, proud grin on his lips. 

“Why did you put them on a shelf like that.”

“Well, they’re really rare and expensive. That pair of Jimmy Choo’s costs as much as a small car.”

“Dude, who spends that much money on shoes?”

“...I like shoes. Besides, they were a present from my mom.”  
“Spoiled much?”  
“Not gonna lie, my parents pay for my tuition and my apartment. They payed for all the furnishing too. I guess, that’s just their way to show their love.”  
“Oh.”  
“They both feel guilty, for divorcing. My dad married again and my mom was more of a career person so I was left alone quite a bit. Went to boarding school for most of middle and high school.”

“My parents left me alone a lot too, actually.”  
“Yeah, I know.”, he smiles again.

 

It doesn't take much longer until you arrive at your apartment and he walks you all the way up the stairs to your front door.

“Oh, you should give me your number!” , He says fishing out his phone and handing it to you.   
You take it and save your number in his contacts. 

“I’ll text you.” , he says, taking his phone back.

He hesitates for a few seconds before leaning down and putting his lips on yours, softly. He quickly pulls away again turning around and walking off quickly, murmuring:  
“B-Bye”

You notice how red the tips of his ears are, as you watch him walk down the stairs.

“Bye, Sousuke.”, you breathe opening your apartment door, smiling and slightly flushed yourself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm soo sorry this took so damn long. but i guess i have a vague sense of how i want to continue this now so i promise the next chapter won't be so long. thank you for reading this and liking it. like i probably would've stopped writing this long ago if it wasn't for the people who care about this story. Thanks!

You are dripping wet as you waddle towards the lockers, exhausted. Coach worked you more than usual today and you have to say you’re pleased. You didn’t beat your personal best today but at least you are up to your usual standards. Qualification races for the olympics are coming up, and you’ll have to work hard, but at least it’s better than yesterday. 

Ah, yesterday.

You feel your heart speed up a bit just thinking about it. You really hate to admit, that you don’t regret having dinner with Sousuke.   
In fact, you spent the rest of the evening nervously fiddling with your phone, waiting for a text message. And he did text you later that evening, you remember how your phone’s notification sound startled you so much you almost dropped the tea kettle on your foot. 

You open up your locker, retrieving your bag with shower supplies and your phone. You’re on edge when the screen lights up. You didn’t get to checking it all day.

Apparently, Nagisa has tried to call you twice and Rin has sent you some ridiculous snap of a vaguely phallic-shaped potato chip. 

Delightful. 

You make a mental note to call Nagisa back some time and see that you also got two new texts from Sousuke. Your heart skips a beat as you swiftly tap the notification to open up the messenger. 

“hi. so, about your bathtub i could actually come over and fix it later today.”   
“oh btw you got a tool box, right?”

You remember telling him about your broken bathtub last night. You don’t know why you started telling him such mundane things, but he is, unlike most people in your life, very reserved. But somehow, he still seems like he cares. He offered to fix your bathtub for you immediately after you’ve mentioned it to him. He is just such a... great listener.

And you panic about the tool box for a few seconds. You don’t have one, because you wouldn’t even know how to operate its contents. Should you tell him or try to organize one beforehand? His text suggested that he expected you to have one and you’re sure Makoto’s gotten one from his dad as a graduation present.

You’re being stupid.

You quickly text him that you don’t have one and he responds that he’ll bring his then and that he’ll be there by seven.  
There. That was very simple. 

Your heart is still pounding though as you get into the shower and even as you walk back to your place.  
You come home to your reasonably clean apartment. You quickly consider tidying up a little as you remember Sousuke’s clean, big apartment but in the end you tell yourself that you’re being silly and hang up your coat. 

You look through your refrigerator as you tie your apron around your waist. Of course you’ll have to make dinner, but you have no idea what. Mackerel was obviously your first idea, but you’d actually rather make Sousuke’s favorite food. You have no clue what that is though and you damn Rin once again for never talking about Sousuke, while telling him everything about you including your favorite food.  
You wonder why he never did. It seems that Sousuke is very attached to him. Besides, he seems pretty interesting.  
‘My best friend’s mom is a cop, Nanase, so don’t mess with me’, is definitely something you could picture young Rin saying.   
Well, maybe it’s because you never asked. 

You seriously regret doing that as you glance over to the clock and see that it’s five past six. You remember him ordering something with chicken at some point, so maybe that? You quickly throw that idea out though as you look through your fridge again and realize that all you have is mackarel and cheap beer. Great. 

Maybe you should order something? Chinese, maybe.  
You’re thoughts are interrupted though, by the door bell. You assume it’s Makoto, who wants to use your microwave again. You really hope it’ll be quick.

You’re greeted by teal eyes instead of green ones and Sousuke, smiling at you.  
“Sorry, I’m early.”, he huffs, clear, white smoke escaping his lips as he exhales. He looks good. Short, dark strands poking out from underneath his grey beanie, cheeks flush from the cold and his hands buried deeply in the pockets of his jacket. You stop appreciating his attractiveness when you remember that dinner isn’t ready and that your apartment is a mess. It’s really going great so far.

“Why are you always either way too late or way too early?”, You sigh as you hesitantly step aside, to let Sousuke rush into the warmth of your apartment. You feel extremely self conscious, when he looks around your room. But he turns around to give you a small laugh and says: “Sorry?”

His smile disappears though when he sees your get-up.

“Oh sorry, you were cooking? ‘Cuz i got take-out on the way here…”, he says, lifting up a white plastic bag he was holding, along with the tool box.

“No, it’s fine, I wasn’t”, you respond quickly.   
“Ah, so the apron’s just part of the outfit.”, he laughs pointing at down at you and you can feel yourself get red.   
“Yes.”, you answer but it’s basically inaudible with the pained wince you manage to give simultaneously.

He laughs again, placing the tool box and plastic bag on your living room table, taking off his coat and throwing it over the backrest of your small couch. 

“Let’s eat before I look at your tub, I’m starving!”, he says sitting down on your sofa, putting a stray pair of jeans out of the way.   
You sit down as well, still wearing your apron. You will wear it as a badge of shame.  
You’re surprised when you open the take-out box to see-

“...Mackerel.”  
“Figured you’d like that?”, he says, pulling his chopsticks apart.  
“...Yeah, thanks.”

“I was thinking maybe not, because we had it yesterday already but Rin said it’s all you ever eat so I just hoped your eating habits haven’t changed.”

“That’s so untrue. But they haven’t, thanks.” You say, as you start eating.  
“So, how was your day?”, he asks and it caught you so off guard that you almost choke on your food.

“Uh...good? I was swimming a lot.”  
“I figured.”, He says.   
“And yours?”, you ask. You’re desperate to change the topic of the conversation as you slowly realize that you are unfortunately not a very interesting person who does interesting things.

“Had lunch with my dad and his wife today…”, he says and then he stops.   
“Oh, so you and your step mom get along?”, you ask. You are immensely curious but again, Sousuke doesn’t talk about himself much.

“Well, yeah. It’s just…”  
He goes quiet again and after a few moments of silence he looks at you and sighs.  
“It’s nothing. I guess it’s just... normal, y’know?”  
“Maybe.”

The silence that follows is suffocating and you can feel yourself grow restless.   
It’s not enough.  
You want to know more.   
Maybe it’s because of the indication that there is more to know, how uneasy Sousuke looked when he talked about her.  
But you want to know more. You want to know everything there is about Sousuke.

“Man, I’m starving!”, he says as he starts eating. 

“The place my dad took us was terrible. You could literally scoop the grease off the walls. I mean, he says that place has a lot of memories from college but man… that was gross.”

You laugh at his sincerely disgusted expression and he perks up at the sound, his eyes wide open, looking at you.

“What?”, you ask, suddenly growing self-conscious. He grins.

“Nothing. Should I take a look at your bathtub now?”

You nod, and show Sousuke the way to the bathroom. It’s tiny, so you keep standing in the doorway as you watch Sousuke navigate in the small space and in one less careful moment bump his hip against the sink while trying to kneel down in front of the tub. 

“Ouch.”

“Pfft-are you okay?”, you try to suppress the giggle, but you can’t really help it. He looks up at you with the same grin from before.

“Yeah.”

He rolls up his sleeves and begins to examine the bathtub’s faucet.

“What did you say was wrong with it again?”, he asks before turning one of the knobs, giving you no time to warn him.

Water starts spraying everywhere from the base of the faucet, and he yelps as water is splashed in his face and he quickly moves back to turn it off again. 

His entire upper body is soaking wet, as he looks up at you, frowning.

You try to hide your rapidly growing smile, but as Sousuke stays quiet your urge to laugh grows. He frowns even harder, and you can’t stop yourself from laughing anymore, bracing yourself on the door frame.

He laughs too then, running a hand through his wet hair. He gets up, undoes the buttons of his shirt and shrugs it off. 

“I’ll dry that for you.”, you say,trying to suppress your giggling as you step into the small bathroom to take the shirt from him.

He stands close to you as he hands you the soaked shirt, his fingers brush against yours. You’re suddenly distracted as you watch a stray drop fall from his hair onto his muscular chest. 

“Haruka…”  
You’re startled by the use of your full name but for once in your life you don’t really mind. You think this voice could say anything to you and you would simply ask him to say it again.

His face is much closer now, so close you can feel the water drip from his hair onto your face and you suppress the urge to shudder. His gaze shifts from your lips to your eyes, silently asking permission and you answer by closing them, expecting the same warm brush of his lips against yours from yesterday. 

Instead his lips crush against yours forcefully, causing you to stagger back a bit. You brace yourself against the sink with one arm while the other comes up around his neck and you bury your hand in the dark, messy strands of his wet hair. He grips your hips tightly, his lips working against yours eagerly,his tongue exploring your mouth and the sensation renders your mind blank. After a while though you start wondering if you’re doing well. You haven’t had much practice aside from drunken make-outs on dirty dancefloors. Just remembering it causes you to wince into the kiss.

Sousuke stops then, his hands no longer playing with the hem of your shirt, his lips still and he pulls back regarding you carefully.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”, he asks concerned, still holding you up by your hips. You’re grateful, since you lack the energy of keeping yourself upright. You figure you should answer his question but you’re still to distracted by the water running down his cheeks, his blue eyes, a much warmer hue than you own, seem to bore into yours, and they’re hypnotizing, pulling you in further and further…

He lets go suddenly and turns around sneezing violently a few times. It brings you right back from your stupor and you quickly reach towards the shelf on the other side of the small bathroom, taking a towel from it. You consider simply giving Sousuke the towel, but instead you take it upon yourself to thoroughly dry his hair. He doesn’t complain and instead bends down a bit to accommodate your height difference, After you’re done, his hair is reasonably dry but extremely messy. After hesitating for a second, You try to smooth down some the strands with your hand, only to have them bounce right up again. Sousuke sighs. 

“Forget it, it’s a lost cause.”

“...You didn’t do anything wrong.”, you say, to answer his question from before. He doesn’t look at you, or anywhere in your general direction as he speaks:

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so aggressive…”, He looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his head nervously, and you respond without really thinking. 

“It’s fine. I was just… distracted by unpleasant memories.” you frown, hoping Sousuke wouldn’t ask anymore questions, but it seems that he already understands what you’re getting at. 

“Oh… I’m sorry, Haru.”, Sousuke looks guilty and it baffles you. It wasn’t his fault, was it? The atmosphere in the room seems to have changed from being impossibly hot just a few minutes ago to… well, this. 

You lean up on your tiptoes and and kiss his cheek softly. “I’ll get over it”, You assure him, and he smiles at you gently, and then reaches down to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. A small gesture of affection like that from Sousuke was enough to make your heart skip a beat, and make your head spin and you think to yourself that this is what makes Sousuke still dangerous in a way.

He shivers suddenly, crossing his arm and you aware that he is still shirtless and you simply grab his hand and lead him out of the bathroom. 

“Come on, I have a shirt for you.”

“You sure it will fit?”, he laughs, and squeezes your hand a bit, making your heart jump.

“It one of Makoto’s so don’t worry. besides I’m not that short.”, You say, as you enter your bedroom. You hand him a dark grey t-shirt and he accepts it gratefully. You stand close to each other again just like before, and you’re about to lean in and close the small distance between you, but Sousuke steps away suddenly and starts walking towards the door. 

“Guess, I’ll go and finally fix your tub,”, he says, and you simply nod and watch him leave the room. What was that? Did he actually avoid your kiss just now or was that just bad timing on your part. You shake your head and try not to dwell on it. 

Instead, you follow Sousuke back into the bathroom, leaning in the door frame as you did before, watching him tighten something around the faucet with a pair of pliers. 

“There, that’s it.”, he says and turns one of the knobs. Water starts running into the bath tub as usual.

“Thanks…”, you say, but you don’t budge. Something tells you that Sousuke is in a sudden hurry to leave and you're not thrilled about it. It’s ridiculous to think that you could trap him in the bathroom like this but he doesn’t attempt to push past you or move you out of the way himself. He simply stands there, mindful of the distance between you, still avoiding your gaze. 

“Is… something… wrong?”, you ask tentatively. He shakes his head and responds:

“No, I just think I should get going.”

“Okay…”

Still, neither of you two moves, with an uncomfortable silence stretching between you. You wish you could just wrap your arms around him like before but instead you sigh and say:

“I should thank you properly for fixing the tub…”

“Not really, I mean it wasn’t even really broken and-”

“And for buying me lunch. Twice.”

“It’s fine really-”

“What’s your favorite food?”

There is a pause after that, he seems surprised at your sudden, seemingly irrelevant question, but he answers:

“Uh, tonkatsu, I guess…”

“Fine, I’ll cook that you. Tomorrow, my place, at seven.”, Your tone makes it clear that this is not an option or suggestion, but an obligation, and he nods. 

 

You sigh again. You thought you were the one overcomplicating things, but clearly Yamazaki seems to have a knack for that as well.  
Deciding that seeing him again tomorrow is a good enough incentive to finally move out of way,you step aside and follow him through the living room to your front door. He puts on his jacket and hides his messy hair underneath the beanie, with only a few strands poking out.

“Well, see you tomorrow.”, he says and rushes out the door before you even have the chance to answer him.

“Yeah, see you.” you mumble, frowning at the closed door.


End file.
